What to Wear, Say, and Do on a First Date

Introduction

First dates can be both exciting and terrifying. You’re probably wondering: What should I wear? What do I say? What if things get awkward? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. Everyone feels nervous before a first date, especially if it's your first ever date.

This guide covers what to wear, say, and do on a first date—plus tips to keep your cool and be yourself.

“When we feel anxious before a date, it often comes from wanting to be liked. But real confidence starts when we flip that—focus on enjoying the other person, not just performing for them.”

— Dr. Sarah Winters, Teen Psychologist

What to Wear on a First Date (For Guys, Girls & Everyone)

First impressions matter—but that doesn’t mean you need to wear something fancy or uncomfortable. The goal is to feel like your best self.

General Tips:

• Be comfortable: If you're adjusting your outfit every two seconds, you'll look and feel distracted.

• Dress for the activity: Going to a café? Go casual-cute. Outdoor walk? Wear something weather-appropriate and breathable.

• Express yourself: Add a personal touch, like a necklace you love or your favorite sneakers.

For Guys:

• A clean, fitted t-shirt or button-up with jeans or chinos works great.

• Fresh trainers or casual shoes—no muddy trainers!

• Avoid heavy cologne; a light spritz is plenty.

For Girls:

• A simple, casual dress, a cute top with jeans, or a skirt you feel confident in.

• Shoes you can walk in comfortably.

• Light makeup if you wear any—keep it natural and fresh.

Gender-Neutral Ideas:

• Cargo pants + layered hoodie or flannel

• T-shirt + denim jacket + comfy kicks

• Matching accessories (earrings, hats, bracelets)

Pro Tip: Confidence is the best accessory you can wear. When you feel good in your outfit, it shows.

What to Say to Keep the Conversation Going

Talking on a first date doesn’t have to be scary. It’s not about impressing someone—it’s about connecting.

Try These Conversation Starters:

• “What kind of music are you into lately?”

• “Have you seen [movie/show]? What did you think?”

• “If you could go anywhere on holiday, where would you go?”

Be Curious, Not Interrogative:

• Ask open-ended questions that invite stories or opinions.

• Listen actively—don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

Keep It Balanced:

• Share a little about yourself too, but don’t overshare.

• Avoid controversial or overly personal topics too early.

What Not to Say (And Why It Matters)

There are some things best left unsaid on a first date. Not because you’re being fake—but because it’s respectful to start light.

Avoid:

• Talking nonstop about yourself

• Badmouthing exes or friends

• Bragging excessively

• Asking “So... do you like me?” too soon

Why? It can come off as insecure or pushy. Give the other person time to get to know you organically.

What to Do: First Date Etiquette That Works

Your behaviour is just as important as your words.

Do:

• Arrive on time (or message if you’re running late)

• Put your phone away (or on silent)

• Make eye contact and smile

• Offer to split the bill or thank them if they paid

Don’t:

• Stare at your phone the whole time

• Try too hard to be funny or flirty

• Interrupt or dominate the conversation

Fun = Success: The goal of a first date is to have a good time, not to seal the deal.

First Date Mistakes to Avoid

Here are some common traps to steer clear of:

• Trying too hard to impress: Just be yourself.

• Saying “I love you”: It's way too early.

• Planning something too intense: Keep it simple—ice cream, walk, coffee, movie.

• Showing up late without explanation: It seems inconsiderate.

• Being overly negative: Stay upbeat; talk about things you enjoy.

How to Stay Confident and Be Yourself

First date nerves? Totally normal. But you don’t want nerves to run the show.

Quick Tips:

• Practice breathing: Deep breaths slow your heart rate and ease tension.

• Visualise success: Picture the date going well. It's cheesy—but it works.

• Remind yourself: They said yes to the date, so they’re interested too!

• Have a plan B: If conversation stalls, ask about their hobbies, pets, or dream job.

Final Thought

First dates don’t have to be perfect—they just need to be real. Wear something that feels like you, talk about things you genuinely enjoy, and treat the other person with respect. If it goes well, awesome. If it doesn’t, it’s still good practice.

And remember: You’re not trying to be someone else’s idea of perfect. You’re just showing up as yourself—and that’s more than enough.

FAQ’s

• What if there’s an awkward silence?

  It happens! Laugh it off, or shift the topic: “So tell me something totally random about you.”

• Should I hug or not at the end?

  Follow their body language. If they seem open to it, go for a friendly hug. If not, a smile and “I had a great time” works fine.

• What if I say something embarrassing?

  You’re human. Own it with humor—“Oops, that came out wrong!” Honesty is charming.

• How do I know if they like me back?

  Look for signs: Do they laugh, ask you questions, lean in when talking? These are good signs!

• Can I text them after the date?

  Yes! A short message like “I had fun today 😊” is sweet and shows confidence.