Standing By Their Side: How to Support a Friend with an Eating Disorder
When someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, it can be hard to know what to do. You might feel worried, helpless, or even scared of saying the wrong thing. You want to help — but how?
The truth is, your support can make a huge difference. Just being there, showing kindness, and offering a listening ear can help your friend feel less alone in what they’re facing. You don’t need to have all the answers or fix everything. You just need to show up with compassion, patience, and understanding.
In this blog, we’ll explore ways you can support a friend who might be struggling with an eating disorder — and how to take care of yourself in the process too.
Understand What They’re Going Through
Before you can support someone else, it's important to have a basic understanding of eating disorders. They’re not just about food or body image — they’re often connected to deeper feelings like anxiety, low self-esteem, trauma, or a need for control.
Your friend might not "look" sick on the outside, and they might even deny anything is wrong. Remember: eating disorders are serious mental health conditions, and your friend’s feelings and struggles are real, even if they’re hidden.
1. Listen Without Judgement
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can offer is a safe space where your friend feels heard. Let them talk without interrupting, correcting, or offering quick advice. Try saying things like:
"I’m here for you."
"You’re not alone in this."
"It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling."
Your role isn’t to diagnose or fix them — it’s to listen and support.
2. Be Patient
Recovery from an eating disorder is a slow, sometimes frustrating process. Your friend might have good days and bad days. They might even push you away sometimes. Try to stay patient and consistent. Remind them that your care doesn’t depend on how “good” they’re doing.
3. Avoid Commenting On Appearance Or Food
Even compliments like "You look healthy!" can be tricky for someone with an eating disorder. Instead, focus on non-appearance-based praise, like:
"I admire your strength."
"You’re such a thoughtful person."
Also, avoid making comments about what they are eating (or not eating). Let meals and food choices be neutral whenever possible.
4. Encourage Them To Seek Professional Help
You can be a huge support — but you can’t be their therapist. Gently encourage your friend to talk to a trusted adult, school counselor, doctor, or therapist. You might say:
"I care about you so much. Have you thought about talking to someone who can really help?"
Offer to help them find resources if they want, but respect their pace and choices.
5. Take Care Of Yourself Too
Supporting someone else can be emotionally heavy. It’s important to set boundaries, recognize your limits, and make sure you're looking after your own mental health too. It’s okay to lean on your own support system or speak to someone you trust if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Final Thought
Watching a friend struggle with an eating disorder is painful, and wanting to help is a beautiful thing. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers to make a difference.
By standing by their side with patience, love, and kindness, you become a source of strength during one of the hardest battles they’ll ever fight. You might not be able to carry their struggle for them — but by walking alongside them, you help make the journey a little less lonely.
Your care matters. Your support matters. And just by being there, you are making an incredible impact.
At Shout, we have around 80 conversations every day about eating disorders or body image. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, it's important to know that there is support available and you can get better.
