Watching a friend struggle with an eating disorder can feel confusing, scary, and heartbreaking — especially when you’re not sure how to help. You might wonder: Should I say something? What if I say the wrong thing? What if they push me away?

Here’s what you need to know: You don’t have to “fix” them. You just have to be there.

In this post, we’ll break down how you can support a friend with an eating disorder in a way that’s kind, respectful, and genuinely helpful — without overwhelming yourself in the process.

Start With Compassion, Not Criticism

If you’ve noticed your friend skipping meals, obsessing over calories, or making negative comments about their body, it’s okay to bring it up — gently.

Try saying:

“Hey, I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating much lately. I’m worried about you.”
“You don’t seem like yourself these days. I’m here if you want to talk.”

The goal isn’t to diagnose them. It’s to let them know they’re not alone.

“Friends can play a key role in helping someone with an eating disorder feel seen and supported. A kind, nonjudgmental approach can make a big difference.”

— Dr. Niva Piran, psychologist and author of Journeys of Embodiment at the Intersection of Body and Culture

Avoid Comments About Food And Weight

Even well-meaning comments like “You look great!” or “You’re so skinny!” can be triggering for someone with an eating disorder.

Instead of focusing on appearance, say things like:

“I love spending time with you.”
“You’re such a strong person.”
“I’m proud of how open you’re being.”

Support their spirit, not their size.

Encourage Them To Get Help

You can’t be their therapist — and that’s okay. But you can encourage them to talk to someone who’s trained to help.

Try this:

“Have you thought about talking to a counsellor or doctor about how you’re feeling?”
“Would you want me to come with you if you talk to a trusted adult?”

If they say no, don’t push. Just let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready.

Take Care Of Yourself Too

Supporting a friend through something serious can be emotionally exhausting. It’s important to set boundaries and take care of your own mental health.

You might need to:

Talk to a school counsellor about what’s going on
Journal or reflect on your own feelings
Take breaks from heavy conversations when you need to

Being a good friend doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being.

Final Thought

You don’t have to have all the answers. Just being there — listening without judgment, showing kindness, and reminding your friend they’re not alone — can mean the world.

Eating disorders are tough, but support makes healing possible. Standing by your friend shows them they’re loved, seen, and worthy of help. That kind of support? It’s powerful.