Noticing the Signs: What to Do If You Think a Friend Is Depressed
You know your friend. You’ve seen them laugh until they can’t breathe, rant about school, and send you random memes at 2 a.m. But lately, something feels off. They’re quieter. They’ve been cancelling plans, missing texts, or just not acting like themselves.
It’s normal to wonder, “Is something wrong?” or even “Could they be dealing with depression?”
If you’ve noticed a shift in someone close to you, trust your gut. You don’t have to be a therapist to care—you just have to be human. This guide will walk you through how to spot the signs of depression in a friend and what you can do to help without overwhelming yourself in the process.
Signs Of Depression To Look For
Depression shows up in different ways, but here are some signs that might mean a friend is struggling:
They’ve stopped hanging out or keep cancelling plans
They seem tired all the time or like they don’t care anymore
Their texts feel short, cold, or stop altogether
They’ve lost interest in things they used to love
They talk negatively about themselves or say things like “I’m a burden” or “What’s the point?”
They might post sad or concerning things on social media
No one sign means someone is definitely depressed—but changes in behaviour, energy, and mood can be a clue that your friend is dealing with more than they’re saying out loud.
Why It’s Important To Say Something
It can feel awkward to bring it up. What if you’re wrong? What if it makes them uncomfortable? But here’s the truth: most people dealing with depression are hoping someone will notice—they just don’t know how to ask for help.
Saying something can show your friend that they’re not invisible, and that someone does care. That might be exactly what they need to hear.
How To Start The Conversation
You don’t need the perfect words. You just need honesty and kindness. Try something like:
“Hey, I’ve noticed you seem down lately. Do you want to talk?”
“You haven’t seemed like yourself. I care and just want to check in.”
“I’m here for you if there’s anything going on. You don’t have to go through it alone.”
Pick a quiet moment. Make sure it’s private and low-pressure—like walking home from school, texting late at night, or hanging out somewhere chill.
What To Do And Not To Do
Do:
Listen more than you talk
Let them vent without trying to “fix” them
Tell them you care and that they’re not alone
Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult or mental health professional
Remind them it’s okay to ask for help
Don’t:
Tell them to “cheer up” or “just be positive”
Compare their situation to someone else’s
Make it about you or talk over them
Promise to keep serious stuff (like thoughts of self-harm) a secret—safety comes first
Take Care Of Yourself Too
Supporting a friend through depression can be emotional. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, confused, or unsure of what to say. Talk to a trusted adult yourself if you’re feeling the pressure, or if your friend’s safety is a concern. You’re a friend—not a therapist. Helping doesn’t mean sacrificing your own mental health.
Final Thought
Noticing the signs of depression in a friend isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present. You don’t have to solve their problems. You just have to show up, listen, and remind them they matter.
Sometimes the smallest “Are you okay?” can start the biggest healing. So if someone’s been on your mind, trust that instinct. Speak up. Show love. And remember: being there counts.
Even though 1 in 4 people have mental health problems, most of us don’t get the help we need. This has to change. We’re Mind. We’re here to fight for mental health. For support, for respect, for you.
